did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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