Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
