yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
