We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
