Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
