if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
