every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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