in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
