i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
