Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
