its not stalking. its research.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You have to summon your inner elephant
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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