We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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