You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
