East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
