His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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