Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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