I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
