How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
