Where is the hickey?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
