This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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