Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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