I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
