I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
