I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
