What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
