doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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