I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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