Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I accidentally burped into my bong.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
