Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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