Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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