On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
