They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
