I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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