don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
