i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
