i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
