If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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