Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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