I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He shit in the fireplace
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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