I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
