oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
