Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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