2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
