if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
