so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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