Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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