How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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