I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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