Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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