There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize