The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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