Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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