It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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