So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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