just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
