I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize