How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
