Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
