how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
