I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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