I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
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hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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