I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
